Cancer survivor is ‘getting on with life’

As New Zealand Cancer Society’s Daffodil Day push for cancer research funding has just come around again;

My friend Caroline Cornor believes the best thing for her to do after kicking cancer into touch is to, ‘get on with life and stop dwelling on the past’.

 

 

GOING FORWARD: Caroline Cornor is, 'getting on with life' after cancer and enjoying being a member of the Dargaville community, especially the Methodist Church.



Caroline tells her story because she champions the BreastScreen Aotearoa mammogram programme for revealing a pin-head sized aggressive tumour, despite BreastScreen’s usual disclaimer, giving women no guarantees of doing so.

She also wants to alay womens' fears about the disease as much as possible.

It all started when she went for her two-yearly mammogram - her last under the free screening system, at the mobile unit visiting Dargaville, on New Zealand’s Northland west coast.

About a fortnight later, BreastScreen rang her to say something on the mammogram needed further investigation.

“They wanted me to go to the breast centre in Whangarei. Another mammogram was done and I waited while it was being read. They said there was something there but they were unsure as to what it was.”

Next, a biopsy was taken that same day, which involved breast punctures.

“It was uncomfortable but not unbearable and I have a fairly high pain threshold. You could say it definitely stung but I was not in a lot of pain and no, I wasn’t afraid,” Caroline says.

She waited up to a fortnight again, for the biopsy result, which came back positive for cancer.

“I still wasn’t afraid, as I’m a fairly pragmatic person – what will be, will be.”

At that time, Caroline was told she needed to consult a surgeon and luckily, because of medical insurance, she was given a list of private surgeons she could choose from and she chose a woman who was born not far from where Caroline grew up.

“I spoke to another public hospital surgeon first and she talked me through it – telling me what might happen. She said, ‘if I were you, I would have a full mastectomy on the affected side’.

Caroline then attended an appointment with the private surgeon and during the consultation, this one also advised her to have the same procedure.

Health professionals told Caroline, then in her late 60s, the tumour was very small, it was a ‘young’ woman’s cancer and very aggressive.

“I have strong faith and I’ve been a member of the Methodist Church since birth.” she says.

The fortunate thing for Caroline, if it wasn’t for the original BreastScreen mammogram, it could have escaped into her lymph nodes.

A special x-ray in Auckland, showed no node involvement, which was a relief.

“Knowing that, I felt quite confident and comfortable that following the surgery, it would all be gone.”

Caroline was offered the surgery in about a week from diagnosis, but after getting some advice, she found she would not reduce her chances by putting it off and she elected to wait a month, to travel to see her children and grandchildren, in other parts of New Zealand.

On her return and before the surgery, she attended an oncology specialist, who explained the treatment following surgery and tests also found she was a good candidate for the cancer protein-inhibiting drug, herceptin.

She had the surgery in early December, 2015, followed by a course of six, three-weekly chemotherapy sessions, with herceptin. The herceptin application continued throughout 2016.

“I never thought I needed or wanted breast screening, because I’ve been fit and healthy all my life, except for coughs and colds. But now, I would definitely tell women to stop being scared of mammograms and stop scaring each other, telling stories about it being painful,” Caroline stresses.

She says it may be a little uncomfortable for some, but everyone is different.

“It is done for a good reason and well outweighs the alternative outcome. Because if this tiny tumour had not been picked up, I may not be here now.”

Her advice for anyone finding themselves in the same position:

“Take all the advice of the doctors and surgeons, in the public and private hospitals as they come up with the same answers.

And in Caroline’s experience, the public health professionals have as much access to state-of-the-art processess as their private counterparts. It’s just that the public workloads are greater.

Caroline is very positive when talking about the chemotherapy process.

Once again, everyone responds to these drugs differently but there are drugs given to people to combat any digestive challenges, which some can experience but not everybody.

“Some people don’t have any reaction to chemotherapy at all but I did have some challenges with keeping foods and liquids down after the second and third applications – but I found it was very much trial and error and I felt within myself, it’s like my brain was having an affect on my digestion.”

One doctor did tell Caroline some people have a centre in their brain that rejects medications.

Her family were proactive in assisting her to get on top of it, with one daughter researching the internet and another enquiring about public funding for help.

Her brother came and stayed for a few months, making sure she ate and drank.

She did have a couple of stays in hospital just to ensure her fluid levels were kept up and a blood transfusion was needed after the third chemotherapy session, when her platelets dropped too low.

Caroline also got a touch of pneumonia after the fourth application.

Due to the side effects, it was decided to abandon the fifth and sixth chemo treatments.

But even after all this, she says she would have rather gone through these difficulties, than not having the treatment.

Some people avoid cancer patients, because of awkwardness.

But Caroline encourages people to visit them.

Both in hospital and at home, people popping in to see her and asking after her, was a great morale booster.

“I don’t know if it was my own positivity that brought people in, or what but it was great to see them,” she says.

She is realistic about cancer generally and says no one gets an absolute assurance with the disease.

But she has been told, specialists don’t expect to see her again and to go on with her life.

By December 2017, it will be two years since the cancer was first found.

SIDE BAR

Caroline’s view on positivity, how to keep your strength up and getting plenty of rest, while going through treatments:

·        Some people may need help with showering, housework and meal preparation – because of tiredness

·        Try foods you usually like as you have to eat and drink. Try to keep your diet as balanced as possible.

·        Also, just get on with your life and try not to dwell on the past.

The Cancer Society says, 60 people a day in New Zealand, will hear the words 'you have cancer'.

 

 

 

 

Holocaust story remembers victims and helpers

Writer Jenny Harrison says she felt, 'all spent' after having finished a book about the survival of Polish Jews and the Gentiles who helped them, during Adolf Hitler's rein of savagery, known as the Holocaust.

Harrison tells a poignant story about a man's survival from what is probably one of the most horrific eras of our time.

She does justice to these victims, as she takes readers through the journey of the survivor's grandmother, mother, father and three siblings, as the events of their life of living under the uncertainty and then the eventual terror of Hitler's regime unfolds.

Her huge amount of research, which she puts into perspective of that time, makes this account of the Holocaust, hard to put down and you cannot help but be 'affected' by it.

A thoroughly absorbing, touching and enthralling view, which leaves the reader with the feeling, this time in history must never be forgotten and justice done for those innocents who perished.   



Out of Poland – when the best revenge is to have survived

By Jenny Harrison

Synopsis:

For decades the leather suitcase lay hidden under the house.

When opened, it revealed letters, photographs and documents, all in Polish and therefore inaccessible.

Many years later one letter, written in 1946, was translated and the awful truth revealed.
The letters and documents told the story of one family who had lived in a small Polish village until the Germans came. 

One son escaped and arrived in New Zealand where he made a life for himself, not knowing he had left his entire family to perish in the gas chambers.

It is also the story of the beautiful daughter who could have been saved but chose to go with her parents to the gas chamber so that they didn't have to face it alone.

It is the story of love and loyalty, of the betrayal of trust and of compassion. It is also the story of the worst crime in our history and how it brought out the best in some people - but also the worst.

Jenny says: "I met one of the descendants in about 2001, he told me of the suitcase that had been hidden under their childhood house and only recently recovered.

I asked the family if I might investigate and see if it was possible to write a book about it.

The letters needed to be translated and a good friend, Eva Sherer, came to my rescue. It was a gruelling journey for her too, reading those letters, as her Gentile family also had a bleak history in Poland; the 'dark' land, where so many, both Jews and Gentiles, had perished.

I only became aware of the tension between Polish Jews and Gentiles through my research and my conversations with the family. As I discovered that many Polish Gentiles rescued Jews during the Holocaust, so my standing with the family deteriorated. This was not what they had been told."

It has been a long and difficult journey for Harrison.

"I feel privileged that, of all the millions of anonymous victims of Hitler, I have been able to get to know and cherish this one family. By remembering them I can honour all those who will forever remain anonymous."

Available in book stores and on Amazon.

NOTE: The family's names have been left out for legal reasons.

Other reviews:

Michelle: I've just finished your book. I'm awed, humbled, inspired, chastened. What a remarkable, heart-filled, well researched, powerful, sensitive, beautiful work of compassion!
I don't want to muddy the waters with too many words; but I want you to know that I think it's one of the best books I've ever read. What a gift you've crafted for so many people, Jenny! Wow. ❤️
Ann R: Now I understand why this was such a difficult book for you to write. You have told the family's story with integrity, humblness and truth. Not a pretty story due to the topic, but one that has helped me to understand the plight of the Jewish community in Poland more fully. You have done an amazing job getting this book to print - a tragic story told beautifully. Once I started reading it I couldn't put it down. I hope many, many people read it. Thank you for sharing this story.
Bev R: Well done on a powerful and impeccably research piece of work! The historical facts are dramatic by the present day effects are equally riveting as you go through the process of writing and dealing with the family. Great human interest. It stands as a strong testament to the lost souls who need to be remembered. You’ve been deeply respectful of the family and they should be proud of your work.
Brenda: Culture, fiction and fact collide as Jenny Harrison takes us on an emotional journey as she sensitively tells the story of one man, family, city and country caught in unspeakable events that precipitated WWII. Part detective story, she draws together fragmented and scanty evidence found in a hidden suitcase, symbolic of a family torn apart. Speaking  her truth quietly, Jenny shows that speaking of the unspeakable is an essential first step in healing of deep emotional wounds.
Amazon Customer:  Superb! Brilliant book that opened my eyes and showed me things I never even considered. Very well written!
John R:  Well written and well researched on relations of Jews and Poles over centuries
Ken J: The book to say the least is so interesting I could not put it down. I gave it to a friend whose grandfather was German and had, I think, relatives in Poland and he found it the same, so enthralling.
Gavin: This is a fascinating, well researched and well written story that draws you in and makes you want to keep reading into the early hours of the morning to see how the lives of the family will unfold. This is a story of (name), his family but also a story of the author's research and interaction with the family. A riveting read that I couldn't put down till the last page was turned.

 

A woman's quest to become her own rescuer



 

Business woman and guest blogger Daphne Wells tells her story, in a light-hearted way, about rescuing herself from a difficult personal situation.

 

Her story inspired me and I'm sure it will inspire many out there who feel stuck in a toxic rut.

 

(The piece has been edited for legal reasons.)

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Here's how I became my own 'knight in shining armour'.​

 

By Daphne Wells

Once upon a time not so long ago I became my own knight in shining armour and rescued myself.

I’d waited long enough for a real, ‘knight in shining armour’, to come and rescue me. You know, the fairy-story kind.

Pretty soon it became obvious nothing would change unless I became my own rescuer.

Here’s the thing... I’d gotten stuck in a hole. Living someone else’s life. Keeping someone else happy. All the while, I felt like I was dying on the inside.

While I’d known for a long time something had to change, it wasn’t at all easy sorting all the obstacles that were in my way.

The fact that I’d dug my own hole didn’t make it any easier either. After all, I’d purchased the cattle. At his request, I’d allowed the man to board for free, in my home, in exchange for caring for the animals.

Picking up the phone and asking for help was undoubtedly one of the hardest and the bravest things I’ve ever done.

Truth is there’s been no fairy-tale ending as the man has since shown his true (negative) colours.

Without doubt, rescuing myself has proved to be harder for me than rescuing others.

By the way, let me know if you’d like me to support you as you rescue yourself.

Daphne Wells, founder of Passion for Growth, guides you to grow your business to full bloom while creating a lifestyle you love so you can make a difference and make money. For over 6 years she has represented highly-motivated, courageous and successful women in business, small business owners, coaches, therapists and entrepreneurs. As an ICF credentialed coach, with a history of birthing and growing small businesses, Daphne has a deep passion for inspiring you to recognise and appreciate your magnificence whilst you grow your fabulously successful business. Her true magic lies in empowering you to do it your way. She lives in the beautiful South Island of New Zealand from where she works with women business owners and entrepreneurs worldwide. She’s President of ICF NZ Southern. Grab her FREE eBook ‘3 Keys to GET MORE CLIENTS’ at www.DaphneWells.com 


If you've had a difficult experience similar to Daphne's let us know in the comments.

We wish you well with your quest for a new life and a new path of growth.

To your health and success!

BTO 

Does a 'well done' from the boss help build team morale?

I have recently noticed a large amount of discussion on social media about positive communication in the workplace.

I was particularly inspired by the post of a Linkedin connection of mine, who works for a multinational company and who had received a verbal 'pat on the back' from his superior for a job well done.

I was interested to blog about his experience because we all have at some stage in our working lives, experienced both positive and negative communication.

I know how each feels - being conscientious and remembering the negative words most. How they can sting the spirit and even make you feel worthless.

Now don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism. We all need that in order to grow.

But we don't need being made to feel bad, emotional, undermined, 'not up to it', 'off our game' ... I could go on with the put downs.

I decided to pose a set of questions by email, to my Linkedin friend, Papis Camara, a key account manager with cosmetic giant, L'Oreal, about his uplifting work experience of praise from his superior.

Here's what he said about it, below:

 

Positive communication: Papis Camara, a key account manager for international beauty company L'Oreal, felt proud and motivated even more, to close sales after receiving management praise.   



Q: Papis, can you tell us about the recent ‘well done’ you got from your boss and what it was for?

A: In my job, one of my roles is to do the business-driven recommendations to the right account. And by sharing a strategy and a vision, one of our key accounts bought into that idea.
This might result in them listing some of our styling products, which means incremental sales for us.

Q: What did your superior say to you, to praise you?

A: He just said over the phone: 'Great job, can I hug you now?'
The feeling was amazing. I felt good, I felt proud and mainly, I felt like going to close (sales) for even more businesses.
This is key in management.
It's not about salary increase, it's the constant motivation that will drive your team. And this can come from a tap on the back or just a, 'well done', 'proud of you', or 'good work'.
It's so easy to do. But unfortunately so easy not to as well.

Q: What do you think about businesses where management rule by negativity and fear and what would your advice be to them, from someone such as yourself, who has experienced good and encouraging management communication?

A: Negativity doesn't bring anything in life but negativity. Fear won't bring anything in life but fear.
You have to love your people.
This is a people business so you have to be a people-minded person.
People do the business not the opposite. So it's about listening, encouraging, being generous, motivating, coaching, developing and mentoring.
I am not saying that's the best recipe. Yet so far I have used this a lot and it has been widely appreciated.
A lot of people I have managed in the past, do consider me as their friend now, so I guess the recipe works.

Q: You mentioned when we did your personal story a while ago, that you have been working for L'Oreal for nine years. Is what you experienced in positive performance communication, something that is usual in your company?

A: Yes I have been working for the same company for almost ten years.
And I think communication is key in any company.

And yes we have to communicate, even more on great achievement because it can lift other people. They see that and say: 'If he can do it, so can I.'

Q: Have you ever experienced negative communication from employers or know anyone who has?

A: Yes of course.
Like in personal life you will find negativeness everywhere. But usually I tend to remember only the positive communication.


Q: How did (negative communication) make you feel, or the person affected?

A: Let me answer through a question. If you see your child and tell him: 'You know what, I am ashamed of being your parent. Your results at school are so bad. On top of that you are very dumb.' How is that child going to feel?

Q: What would you like to see more of regarding communication (processes) from management in business generally?

A: People should praise their team all the time.
Not only during three-year end reviews or when they get promoted but on a constant basis and of course, it should be genuine.

It seems Papis, who indicates he enjoys encouraging his own team, has experienced the actions of an exceptional leader in his boss' communication to him over his work results.


I decided to look at an expert view of good leadership.

Below is a link to an article by US psychologist and emotional intelligence expert, Dr Travis Bradberry who posts frequently on LinkedIn.

This article is about the daily habits of exceptional leaders.

It would appear, giving praise is one of the hallmarks of an outstanding leader.


In it, Dr Bradberry discusses the various virtues of these leaders, including the art of generosity.


He says:

"Great leaders are generous. They share credit and offer enthusiastic praise. They’re as committed to their followers’ success as they are to their own. They want to inspire all of their employees to achieve their personal best – not just because it will make the team more successful, but because they care about each person as an individual."

- Dr. Travis Bradberry

 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/daily-habits-exceptional-leaders-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=v-feed&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_recent_activity_details_all%3BLeeBMMgJUfHodHmh4bjaxA%3D%3D

Have you had a 'well done' from your boss at work? Why not tell us about it?

You don't have to say where you work unless you want to.

Let's celebrate those great bosses out there!

To your continued success and health. :-) BTO

 

 

.

Rebuilding a village in Vanuatu

Dargaville businessman John Bishop rolled up his sleeves to help rebuild and renovate a cyclone ravaged village in Vanuatu.

The aid project, spear-headed by the Rotary Club of Birkenhead, included rebuilding a school and constructing ablution blocks, renovating house rooves, upgrading and fixing water systems among other things in the village of Ueli, in the south eastern part of the island of Ambrym, following the devastation in 2015 from Cyclone Pam.

John spoke to the Rotary Club of Dargaville about his experiences, mostly from his second visit to the small developing country, in October.

He and his wife Margaret, who is a member of the Rotary Club of Dargaville, both initially went to Vanuatu in March/April, for 17 days and started helping with the rebuild.

“I was asked by Rotary if I would like to go and help but it’s not until you actually touch down there, that you realise the need and how helping is all worthwhile,” he says.

On the second 19-day visit, John returned on his own, while Margaret stayed back to run the couple’s busy engineering firm.

He was at first one of nine people, mostly New Zealanders, to go to the island this time but he ended up as one of only five left to help with the clean-up, when four had to leave for various reasons.

Band of helpers: John, far right, with other local and overseas volunteers during the October restoration project of Ueli Village.

One of the main objectives for the aid workers was to build three sets of double shower units –  separately for male and female villagers and for school teachers.

Previously, villagers only had small brick-like rooms for up to 24 people to use.

Other jobs included starting the rebuilding of a school, rebuilding of another structure that had been torn back to its studs and reroofing of the headmaster’s home and a church.

New Zealand pine was mostly used for the reconstructions with a small amount of Australian timber added.

Much of the material from the old buildings was recycled, unless it was unusable.

An 11km trip up a mountain to where a water pipe that fed the village water system, had become blocked, was a mission to access and a real challenge to clear. The village had no water in its communal reservoir tanks and the only water villagers had, was in their own tanks near the houses, from when it rained.

John says the rain literally “buckets” down but was intermittent at best.

“Everything is at a much slower pace there, as it was a three-quarter-hour trip to get to where we had to unblock the pipe,” he says.

The water system, which was in the process of being upgraded by the Seventh Day Adventist Church, had only been replaced once since it was first put in by the American Forces during World War II.

Seven computers acquired from Australia for the school, were solar-powered.

Manual work was quite hard going.

“No such thing as concrete mixers there,” John says. Concrete is all mixed by hand in a ground hole.

Manual worker: John gets stuck in to some manual concrete mixing.

He was able to pass on some of his own skills to locals during the construction processes.

John found himself doing various jobs including; building, making concrete, welding, plumbing and plastering.

He says there are still schools, houses and churches that need repair.
“There is some shelter but people seem to take everything in their stride there. They seem to be used to having very little anyway.”

But one of the biggest problems is the lack of ability to store food, which is abundantly grown. Crops such as taro, kumara, kava as well as the storage of imported rice.

Money can be accessed for water storage, so it is possible to obtain funding to build structures as long as they can catch the water.

John is keen to go back to Vanuatu perhaps later next year, to help with more projects such as the building of more structures.

 

Village structure: An example of a traditional building in Vanuatu.

A kindergarten is planned, which will provide not only water but an educational facility for the village.

SIDE BAR:

ABC News website:

At the time, aid agencies described Tropical Cyclone Pam, which hit Vanuatu in March 2015, as one of the worst disasters to ever hit the Pacific region.

Packing winds of up to 250 kilometres per hour, the category-five system caused widespread devastation in Vanuatu's southern provinces of Shefa and Tafea.



Have you helped out in a developing country or helped with an environmental disaster clean-up?

Tell us about your experiences. We and our readers would love to hear it!

Contact us in the comments section.

Have a great day.

BTO

Compassion is still alive and well

This lovely story about an older boy helping a disabled one-year-old was inspiring.

http://www.whydontyoutrythis.com/2016/08/she-secretly-photographs-what-this-boy-does-with-her-1-year-old-now-shes-searching-for.html

Sometimes children amaze us, don't they!

There is so much compassion in many people; both young and old.

These are the people who make the world a better place, as this mother points out in her impassioned, 'thank you' letter in the hope the young Samaritan may read it.

What makes some people compassionate and others not so much?

It seems that empathy or compassion is all about those who have keener brain activity and sensitivity, generally, in regard to what is going on in the world around them, compared to those who don't.
I found this article in the link below, from the ibtimes.co.uk interesting.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/why-some-people-are-genetically-more-sensitive-empathetic-others-1454042

How do you feel when someone shows you compassion, empathy, or even sympathy, especially when you've suffered some kind of great loss?

Let us know in the comments, or email to: robyndow58@gmail.com

Beating the Odds - BTO would love to hear from you. Check us out and then drop us a comment or a line!

A big multi-national company with a mandate to help others

Many organisations make it their business to help others.

Even in the midst of their busy, hopefully prosperous operations, they choose to provide such valuable assistance.

I was inspired by this particular United States health and nutrition company, which spends time with giving others a fighting chance. Sometimes, even provide an existance in areas of the world where life is difficult, to put it mildly.

https://www.facebook.com/USANAFoundation/?hc_ref=SEARCH

As the guy in the video says, medical aid for a constantly struggling country, such as Haiti with a population of up to 10 million, is made possible through various agencies working in partnership with this company.
But there seems to be endless procedures that have to be worked through, in order for people to even have access to basic health care.

Makes us very glad of where we live!

 

Difficulty: A typical scene of struggle. Photo by Common Dreams.





There are many other caring people and organisations, who devote their time and economic resources to make other people's lives more bearable.

This world would be a more difficult place without those people who are willing to take that time.

Medical care is essential in these areas, and if it wasn't for organisations that can pour revenue into aid work for these countries, it's hard to imagine how much worse those conditions could be.





Rescuers: UN mission to Haiti with supplies to help. Photo by ReliefWeb.

 

It's good to celebrate people who are willing to go and help in these places and organisations that make it possible.

 

Have you had experience in providing aid in a struggling country?

 

We would love to hear and tell your story on our blog. It would inspire others for all sorts of things. :)

 

Let us know in the comments or PM on our Facebook page or email: robyndow58@gmail.com

BTO